Scout Sunday (Saturday for some) - When things go perfectly!

 

A Scout is Reverent...

Sometimes as a leader, Reverent is one of the more personal aspects of our Scout Law, and sometimes difficult to demonstrate without impressing on someone else's child my own beliefs of faith, and spirituality. Yes, one of the requirements of Scouting is the belief in a higher power. However, just because a child is in your troop does not mean they follow your same faith. Interfaith ideals are important, helping teach scouts how to respect others of different faiths is important.  In your own troop, your scouts can be members of any faith, so explaining your Duty to God, may not be their Duty to God. Allowing Scouts to learn to appreciate the faith of others is an important factor in Scouting.  I have attended some Vespers at events that I loved. I learned about others' faiths, and how they reflect on my own, maybe with a different "Big Guy" but the messages are the same. You can read the words of another religious text, and still find the imagery beautiful. I have also had the thought, that my own pastor's head may explode calling that church service. However, Reverent is still an important part of Scout Law. Just remember that Reverent and Morally Straight, can be defined differently by different people, so keep an open mind. If one thing I have learned in Scouting is that these two topics can be touchy subjects, but lead to some of the best adult idea exchanges I have had scouting.

So today was our Scout Sunday. I have only experienced this once before, in February 2020.  This was right before Covid-19 took its toll on any in-person gatherings, and is still having its effects. In 2021, there was no Scout Sunday. I remembered enjoying the time with the pack and wished we would have had our last one. However, it was not to be last year. 

2022 was time to bring it back. Our Troop was excited about this event coming back. It brought a sense of normalcy. Yes, we had to mask at the request of the church, but this was something small to be part of something bigger, a national day of recognition. We share our charter organization with a Pack, and Troop for boys.  Once again, our brother organization was the example of how cooperation and comingling can be done successfully for the benefit of all our kids. 

Our church has sponsored a girls troop since 2019, due to just getting things started, they missed Scout Sunday in 2020. While the members of our charter organization knew we existed, they have not seen us in existence. Today that changed, and it was perfect. 

Our Scouts served in a few ways today, some were greeters, some held the door, some did readings for the service. Each Scout got the opportunity to take on the challenge they were most comfortable with. For some simply saying good morning, and handing out a bulletin or worship aid was assertive enough. It had them use the communication skills we work on in a real-world environment. Some held the door because a Scout is helpful.  Lastly two girls, and two boys elected to read scripture. We showed the organization, and greater scouting community that we can have young men, and young women working together to serve, and nothing bad comes from that. They came together to worship, and it was beautiful. 

Scout Sunday is an important event to help solidifiy your relationship with your charter organization. This is time when you get to meet with the leader of the congrigation. You can learn what the organization needs in terms of service. The example is that in the bulletin, it noted they were looking for help with cleaning the cemetary. Amazingly we were already looking to work with a local stone cleaner to learn the process of resetting, and cleaning headstones. It is a win-win. The pastor was so excited that we are volunteering to be the point on this activity. We are adding value to our organization, and making ourselves part of part of the relationship, and not just a group that needs a meeting space. We got to meet the members of the church and start building relationships. You never know what may come from that. Lastly, I got to see my 8th grade English teacher, introducing my daughter was a fun experience. My teacher was unsure how I have a child that old, when she hasn't aged a day. 

Demonstrating our skills, and completing public speaking requirements at the same time is another great benefit. Reading in front of a large group, and showing the skills, that we profess we are giving, is a great way to really demonstrate that it is more than words. We shared the reading responsibilities with the boys troop because that is how it should be done. We met with the leaders as equals, as it should be. We showed that while we are both members of this charter organization, we are different Troops that both add value to their church. 

Finally, and most importantly, the sermon focused on the values of Scouting.  The opening speaker made the connections to Scout Law and the church.  The pastor did a sermon on asking to help others, because a scout is helpful. While I am sure somehwhere the pastor takes the opportunity to focus on reverent, however,  this time the pastor showed that the works we do are all reflective in our duty to God.  He made good works, and good living a simple yet powerful way to show that you are reverent. 

Afterwards the fellowship brunch gave a chance for so many adults to interact with the Scouts, and leaders.  For our Troop is was an opportunity for many of the older members to talk about how wonderful it was to see our girls doing Scouts. There were statements of how they wish they would have had the same opportunity, and statements of encouragement to keep doing the good work. We got the kids together for a picture, and they all got together. As you can see we share the same aims, but we have our own identies. These opportunites are also important because we are not just helping them learn how to be scouts, but how to interact and appreciate each other. They are learning that boys and girls, and work together and mutually respect one another. They learn that as their own worlds go further, leaders come in many forms. However, most of all, they laughed, and enjoyed this momemt. These good times will help them rely on each other when things get tough. 

I could not be more proud of these girls and their commitment to each other, their goals, and most importantly to Scouts BSA. I am glad I get to be a part of their journies.

Scout Sunday Theme - 

On my honor, I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.  

I hope you have the same experiences. 

Teaching Your Girls to Address Resistance.

This week was the birthday of the Boys Scouts of America. It turned 112 years old. That is quite an accomplishment. For 109 years the organization did not have the full participation of female members. Boys Scouts was seen as the name implies, as a boy exclusive organization. Now for 97.5% of the existence of BSA, it was an all-male organization. Many organizations were founded as gender-exclusive groups, that have successfully made the transition to being co-ed. No one thinks twice when a woman goes to work out at the YMCA - Young Men's Christian Association. Eventually, I feel that Scouts BSA will be in the same boat.  This is not going to happen overnight. With just a simple scan of social media pages, including the official Facebook page of Boy Scouts of America, you can find that many are not as excited to see the inclusion of girls. Many will openly oppose, make negative comments, or extoll the downfall of the organization due to the inclusion of female scouts. 

These are just a few comments that I was able to quickly find on the official Boy Scouts of America page. They are even more prevalent when a local or national news story is run.  When traditions change it is not unexpected to have some that push back against this change. Also, most of what I have found is that those most vocally in disagreement with the inclusion of females are not involved with Scouts BSA.  I lead with these ideas because while the vast majority of comments on social media, and interactions at scouting activities are positive, not all will be. The overwhelming support I have been exposed to at least publically is amazing. However, not every interaction my own child has had was a positive one. 

There are different settings where girls may run into opposition or oppositional comments. Teaching your female scouts how to respond is important so they can confidently, and quickly respond to naysayers. I know some will say they should need to be taught how to respond, but I took a different approach. Bullies will not back down until someone stands up for themselves. I am not saying that all of these situations come from a place of bullying.  In some cases, a lack of understanding can be the cause, and the response of the Scout can help further the aims of scouting, and inform a larger population that girls are here to stay. 

Situation 1:

    The unit is doing a community event. The girls are in uniform and acting as direct ambassadors for the Scouts BSA program.  The most common issue here is from a basic lack of knowledge that girls are in Scouts BSA. We have been asked if they were"wearing their brother's uniform". These questions are the easiest to understand and address.  I have taught my scouts to respond with "Nope, we are here with our all-female troop. They started allowing girls to join in 2019, and we are some of the first."

Often times this is met with further questions asking them about their Troop and what they are doing. Many times this is also starting a discussion with older members of the community that are happy these girls have a chance to do something they wanted to do as a child. 

It is not very easy for a person, even if they are not in favor of the inclusion of females, to be directly rude to a child right in front of them. Killing them with kindness is a great way to defuse situations. 

 

Situation 2 - Resistance from within your own Pack/Organization.

Recently at the University of Scouting, I attended a roundtable for female troops. This was an amazing experience. Under the current operational model, every Charter Organization can make the choice to allow girls to join. They can allow family scouting at the pack level and can offer to sponsor a female troop at the older stages. In the discussion with other leaders, I learned just how much the growing pains could be. Some members resigned or simply held beliefs that girls should not be involved.  When my daughter first joined her Pack in 4th grade, the decision to include girls was never discussed with the Pack on a smaller scale. The committee without much input from the Den Leaders simply said yes. 

When we signed up my daughter, it was a bit of a surprise to the den, including the current only boy members. Some of the kids were not happy that their boy hangout was being invaded by a girl. Due to my own ignorance, and assumption that the kids wouldn't care, I did not have a discussion with my daughter about how to respond to resistance from within.  The day before her first den meeting, a few of the boys were not nice to her and pushed her down on the playground. They told her scouts' were for boys and she should quit. My kid came home devastated. These were her classmates. Her friends until she tried to join their Pack. What I learned to pass along is that when something like this is new, it is important to discuss with all the stakeholders what is about to occur. Even delaying the start of the female scouts for an extra week would have allowed the dens to tell the current members, and put forth expectations for behaviors and how to welcome the new members. The happy end is that these boys ended up being some of her closest friends. They still talk, and their bond has helped them navigate life now going into middle school. This resistance was caused by a failure of adult communication. 

Situation 3- Resistance from the old guard. 

While most of the resistance I have encountered has come from outside of scouting, from people no longer active, or who have never been active, occasionally we run into other Units that are not as open to the idea that there are now girls in the camp. As recently as our Spring Camporee, we had an adult leader that did not like that the boys and girls were doing the activities at the same time. He complained that the girls were a distraction to his boys, and were not in their appropriate uniforms. Mind you the uniform was "Class B".  Our young ladies were wearing a pair of workout pants, and t-shirts. Not exactly revealing and definitely not a distraction. He went as far as complaining to the District Executive. We are fortunate that we have a very supportive council. He was shut down.  My advice here is to let adults deal with adults.  The lesson that I have given our girls is that if another leader is being inappropriate, remain calm, walk away, and get one of their leaders to address the other adult. Some are still active in scouting but do not believe that it should be open for all. This attitude will change, over the years, but we need to navigate that now.  My belief is that feelings such as this are only furthered because of the way that girls in scouting have been implemented. As long as groups can make a choice to exclude members based on sex, this will cause this issue to still fester and will allow groups to harbor thoughts and feelings without the needed exposure and experience of what girls in scouting are like.  I could not imagine if on any other basis that organizations could exclude members that this would be acceptable. However, these are the rules that we currently have. 

When our Scouts have a negative interaction with Scout from another Troop the initial response is to restate affirmatively that they belong. "I am with Troop 1019, Scouts allows for girls now, I surely belong here."  I have also taught the kids the say "A Scout is Kind", "A Scout is Friendly", or some other of the Scout Law. Showing that you are living under the same Scout Laws is important to understand one another as equals. If the other Scout does not get the message, they are again to inform their leaders and allow us to deal with it as adults. 

When done right, a coexisting of Troops is an amazing thing.  We are fortunate that at our charter organization the boys and girls share the same aims, support each other, and are learning how to interact with each other professionally. They cheer for each other in competition, they laugh with each other while doing activities, but they know the rules and expectations. We camp together 4-6 times a year. We work together, we laugh together, and we Scout Together. We call them our big brothers, and we are their sister Troop. Our Leaders are friends, we enjoy each other's company, and working with each other Scouts. This is how it is supposed to be. This is how it should be. This is how we will continue to work together to make this experience meaningful for all the Scouts we work with. 

Girls Scout Too! 

So your daughter wants to join Scouts BSA....

 So your daughter wants to join Scouts BSA...

    When my daughter was 9 years old, she came home from school very excited. A representative from Scouts BSA, New Birth of Freedom Council came to her school and told her the most amazing news, Pack 233 will be accepting girls for the first time ever. While she was excited, I was a bit more apprehensive. 

    My daughter, Abby, has watched both of her cousins enjoying numerous outdoor activities, using pocket knives, and their overall joy of hanging out every Tuesday with their friends. Abby wanted that in her life. I on the other hand being from the smaller town that I am from saw this as a chance for my daughter to learn a little about the potentially ugly side of adults. What I did not expect was that my 9-year-old was fully aware of this, and wanted to take on this challenge. She also had a lot of faith in the better side of humanity and knew there were a lot of others that would think it was amazing. She also was aware even at the age of nine, that she was blazing a trail for girls behind her.  Abby, from the day she joined, wanted to become the "First Eagle Scout Girl" from our town. She knew that when she reached a milestone in scouting that she would be the first girl to do so.  I was inspired by her passion to lead a new path for girls in our town, and I was ready to help her.  While this is partially my journey, the truth is Scouting is about the youth. This journey is Abby's and I am simply a guide to help her. 

The following are the lessons learned at the start of our journey. I am sharing this because when your daughter makes the decision to join, there are some things you want to look for and understand even before the application is submitted to join. 

I will use the term -Unit - This is a reference to the scouting organization you will be joining. There are a lot of different Packs, Troops, and Crews.  While we were involved in a Pack and Den, and now a Troop the term unit simply refers to where you are joining. 

1. You are making a choice on where to start your child's journey. 

    This is an organization you are choosing, and much like many other things we do for our kids, you don't have to choose the closest or most convenient unit. Go to the scout sign-up night for a Pack. Talk to the leaders, talk to other parents that are there. This is a chance to get a feel for their philosophy on scouting and be sure that this is where you want to send your child. Most often you will choose the Pack or Troop that the scout's friends are in, but not all packs accept females, and not all packs have female components. Most times there will be a few packs that you can choose from in an area, some might be a few more minutes to drive, but it might be worth it in the long run. 

2. What is the history, and plan for the unit to include girls. 

    When we first joined our pack, they were not ready to take in females. They were open to the idea and agreed to allow girls to join, but they did not have a plan for how that would look, or what to do once the first girls signed up. The rules for females joining BSA are murky at best. The current rules for Scouts state that the program is not Co-ed. The current rules actually make girls joining problematic. Technically your daughter will be required to join a separate Den. In practice, the Packs that are making it work are using a method that will have your child work with the appropriate aged Den while being officially in a den of all girls. What makes scouts fun for the kids is working with their peers. My daughter's Den was a group of girls from 1st-4th grade. When they would come to Pack meetings, however, they would work with the boys that are the same age. My daughter joined as a Webelo and worked with the other 4th grade boys. Because of the visiting status, a parent, or female leader was required to be with her at all times. This realistically meant that I was committing to being at Scouts with her every week. Be prepared to make that commitment. 

    Why such a long explanation, well the first month of Scouts, we were simply put in the basement of the church because the Pack did not have a plan to implement family scouting. Ask what their plan is and how they run their Pack. If they are unsure, then you may want to ask some more questions and get guidance from your Cubmaster, Committee Chair, and Charter Organization Rep. Nothing can be more difficult than feeling excluded. Honestly, I was ready to throw in the towel and walk away but my child did not want to quit before she even started. It finally got worked out, and she loved it. 

3. What is the plan once your daughter crosses over Arrow of Light. 

    While there are a lot of co-ed Packs, and BSA is a little more flexible for younger scouts, Once your child completes Arrow of Light, and crosses over to a Troop, the rules are considered black and white. Troops are 100% same-sex, no exceptions, no grey area. The number of female troops compared to male troops is about 10%. This means that for every 10 Scout Troops 1 will be for females. This is vitally important to realize as your daughter starts to enter the upper ranks of Cub Scouts. Most Cub packs have a Troop that the boys seamlessly flow into. This is often not the case for female cubs. This is often a hard realization for kids, as they come to terms with the fact that these boys, brothers really, will not be a part of their next step. I know in my case this was met with a lot of sadness, and grief. 

    However, not all is despair. 4th grade will be a vital year to your daughter's scouting experience. On, or before, your daughter enters their first year of Webelos (4th Grade) you need to figure out what the next step is. You should ask your leaders, "Where do girls go once they complete Arrow of Light?" Hopefully, they know, if they do not, then this is where you will need to get in contact with your district or council. You will need to find your local girl troops. To visualize this, I would suggest you go to beascout.org and enter your zip code and choose Troops.  For example, when I enter mine, I have 17 Scout Units within a 10-mile drive from my house, only 1 is a Girls Troop. You may have to drive to keep your child involved, but that is not the reason I am telling you this. 

    Once your child is a Webelo, they can start to visit and attend outings with a Troop as a guest.  This will be important because your child can start to build a relationship with their future Troop and the transition will be easier. For Boys crossing over is just a continuation of what they already know. For girls, this is often not the case. They will be finding a new home and new people. If your daughter knows the other kids and has a relationship with her new Troop this will make the transition very easy. In our case, we got in contact with Troop 1019 in October of Abby's 4th-grade year. By April of 5th grade, she was excited to join her new friends. She knew where she was going, and when the Scoutmaster of 1019, and the SPL came to her crossing over, she was excited to see them and get welcomed to her new Troop. 

As an Assistant Scoutmaster, I make it a point to know every female scout that is currently a Webelo or Arrow of Light Scout, and we as a Troop actively engage their families, and the scouts themselves. 

I am proud of my child. She has really put her full self into her commitment. She wants to be a leader and role model. She wants to give back and be a Den Chief, and I am glad she made me want to come on this journey with her.